The only way to move is forward

Celebrating a new year of everyday resolutions.

Hello, all. This is my first note of 2024, which goes to you filled with positive vibes and the warmest wishes for a healthy and prosperous new year. I entered mine on a beach in my hometown of Salvador, Bahia, Brazil. As midnight struck, fireworks lit up the sky. I looked down and I noticed dozens of newborn turtles scampering along the sand, making their way from nest to ocean. I didn’t take a picture and I’m not sorry. I chose to stay present and appreciate the magic and meaning of the moment.

Here is one random turtle fact I learned while visiting Projeto Tamar, a program that works to protect marine turtles in Brazil: Females often return to the area where they were born to lay their eggs, no matter how far they’ve traveled — and sea turtles migrate thousands of miles in a lifetime.

The place where our roots are sewn form and inform us, whether you’re someone like me, who created a home far from the nest, or if your home is right where you were born and raised. I accept and embrace all of my formative experiences, including those that instilled bad habits in me and those that are painful to remember.

I had to revisit these experiences while working on my memoir and a bunch of times, the exercise nearly drove me to give up on everything. I’m fortunate to have an excellent literary agent, loving friends and a supportive therapist as they affirmed the value of my story everytime I doubted it. They also reminded me, each in their own way, to use my eyes as the camera and write what I lived, exactly how I lived it. They taught me to focus on me.

Focusing on the self seems to be a popular thing to do at the start of a new year. A lot of people set resolutions, make promises and plans, pledge to change or stick to behaviors they believe are necessary for a healthier existence. I choose to abstain from the pressures of the calendar and occasion. My resolutions, promises, plans and pledges are a revolving occurrence and they’re malleable. What I hope for this new year is what I hope for my everyday: to move forward as I have, with gratitude and perspective, and to uplift others along the way.

This is a passage from my manuscript:

What is the meaning of time, anyway? Is thirty days between Mike’s diagnosis and his death enough to process the end of life as we knew it? Is it too much time to see him suffer? Is it too little time to say goodbye? If time heals all wounds, how much time will it take until I’m healed? 

I look at it now and see how far I’ve come since my husband died six years ago. Am I healed? It depends on what you mean by “healed.” Am I stronger? It’s necessity that fuels strength. I have changed, for sure, and I am fully aware of the power I have, including the power to try — and learn — something new, like surfing. 🤙🏽🏄🏻‍♀️

With love and purpose, always.

Fernanda.