The stuff that really matters

Making time for connections that keep us grounded

As I work toward building my next chapter, I’ve been careful to apply for jobs that I feel are right for me. Compensation matters, of course, but these have been my main guiding questions:

• Is the challenge as meaningful as the contributions I can make?

• A year in, will I still be happy? Will I still be learning?

Focusing on anything other than money when searching for work reveals the relative privilege I enjoy, even as a widowed single parent raising a child in one of the most expensive cities in the world. (I so appreciate the lessons in money management I learned from my father and brother, and my own ability to adapt to change.) There’s something else that’s required, though, and that’s the fortitude to live with discomfort and embrace risk. I’m not yet very good at it, and I know and accept that I’m not that good at it. Knowledge and acceptance are required steps for growth.

The other day, I needed a lifeline, someone to talk me out of the funk I was in. I dialed a childhood friend of mine. Together, we came up with a list of simple reminders that I dutifully wrote down and saved, knowing they will be helpful someday, maybe even today. There’s a lot I’ve been processing.

The No. 1 reminder is: If it doesn’t work out, I’m going to be OK.

Here’s the rest of it:

• My life has changed and so have I.

• Other people’s rules and limitations are not my own.

• My vision of the future must be stronger than the weight of my past.

If any or all of this works for you, take it. If you have reminders of your own, please, share them. In these turbulent, difficult times, on a micro and macro level, it’s good to know we are not alone.

With love and purpose, always.

Fernanda